When Is It Ok To Have An Affair?
To get started with this, let’s get one thing clear. There is no right or wrong answer to this question. On one side you will have people tell you that in no way, shape, or form is having an affair okay. Then on the other side of the spectrum there will be people that make excuses or give you scenarios as to when having an affair would be okay. Both of these people are right in their own sense but let’s touch base and jump into both worlds and see what we come up with.
Having An Affair…To Have An Affair
Unfortunatel
y, one of the most common reasons that someone has an affair is simply because they get bored with their current relationship and seek excitement. Does that make it okay? Certainly not! It just means that in some relationships, when things get boring, one or both of the partners can move on to something else while remaining in their current relationship. Work can also play a big factor in this if one of the partners works long hours or out of town on a regular basis. This also doesn’t make it right by any means but it happens to both good and bad people and is very unfortunate. How can you tell if your relationship is genuine? Trust yourself.
Having An Affair…To Get Even
Moving on, we also find that many people have an affair to get back at their partner or even up the tally so to speak. This will only cause problems down the road and is in no way right or morally correct. One common scenario in which this can happen is if the first partner is caught cheating, the second partner forgives and moves on (or so they say), and then decide to get even whether it’s private or public. What that basically means is that a lot of the time, the partner will make it loud and clear that they are having an affair, had an affair, or are even planning on having one. Sound unrealistic? Well, it’s not. It happens all the time to many!
Yes, you read it right. There are people who have affairs on what they refer to as an accident. This can be anything from a late night party to “I didn’t really want to” type of ordeal. Is it right? No, not at all. Is it forgivable? That’s entirely up to you. Think about this though. If it happens once, do you think it will happen again? We aren’t saying whether it will or not but it is definitely something to take into consideration and not something to take lightly at all. Look at your surroundings, think about your options, go from there, and make a decision. It sounds simple enough but realistically, it’s not but with will power, we know you can do it!
Having An Affair…Other
Aside from all the reasons mentioned above, there are a couple other causes of affairs. One of those is finance. When times get tough, some resort to having an affair for a feeling of both comfort and financial stability. There are people out there who have an affair simply for the benefits whether its a nice night out on the town with dinner or something along those lines. There is also a darker reason that can be behind an affair such as drug use. People will result to desperate measure if they are dependent on drugs or alcohol and one of those is cheating on their spouse or partner. Finally, some people have an affair because, well, they love each other. As silly as that may seem, it does happen and can better the relationship or make it worse.
Consequences Of Having An Affair
When someone has an affair, one of three things typically happens. They either never get caught and nothing changes unless its suspicion or control in their life, they get caught and the relationship ends under whatever circumstances, or they get caught and things are worked out between the two. For this last one, two things can happen with it. Things can get better or things can get worse. Some marriages are strengthened by an event like this and some are ruined. It’s safe to say that more bad comes from it than good but if the marriage is to work, one thing that has to be remembered and that is to let go of the past and go for the future.
There is no magic formula to finding out how many people have affairs or cheat on their partners and surveys aren’t always accurate as many of the survey takers won’t answer truthfully or won’t admit even to themselves that they have had or are having an affair. A rough estimate is that something like 22 percent of people (or 1 in 5) have cheated on their partner according to a survey consisting of more than 70,000 people. While these aren’t huge numbers, it does show that it could happen to anyone and it’s important to evaluate your relationship.
So, Is Having An Affair Ever Right?
Now that we’ve touched based on three popular scenarios, let’s get back to the question of the hour. Is having an affair ever right? The answer is, no. Despite what people may tell you, it is never right under any condition whether it’s to get even or to get a thrill. That’s not to say that it can’t help your relationship but at the same time, we don’t encourage anyone to go out and have an affair for that purpose but just know that if it does happen, it may not be the end.
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I totally agree. No matter what the reason, it is never ok to cheat. You may get lucky and your relationship could survive- or even somehow get stronger- but I’m pretty sure some good counselling and open communication could do that without the breach of trust from an affair.
I think you really covered all the bases there. I don’t think I’ve ever heard of a couple who’s relationship improved from someone having an affair, but I guess anything is possible.
I’ve never cheated, but I have been the other woman. It’s a crappy situation for all involved and I would never recommend it. It’s not worth the pain of a broken heart.