Posted By: Cara
It is firstly important to point out that no profile can attract everyone, furthermore even if it did, you wouldn’t be suited to the vast majority of those you had actually attracted, so what would be the point? The bottom line is that your profile does have to be an honest reflection of yourself. How honest that portrayal is and how you decided to market yourself is what will help you to be successful in the online dating game.
Before even considering your profile, it is important to consider the website you want to join. Internet dating is now experiencing an upsurge in popularity never seen before, with its success rate at an all time high. The mainstreaming of internet dating has however meant that there are also an unprecedented number of internet sites dedicated to a variety of different dating niches and it is important to know that you have chosen the right one for your profile to work. It may be that you want to meet a sugar daddy, a woman in uniform or a rich widow, but make sure that your profile fits the audience and be careful which sites you choose to upload yourself.
What’s in a name? That which we call a rose. By any other name would smell as sweet. Well, no Shakespeare, you hadn’t thought of internet dating, when you penned that line for Juliette. There are so many BigBoys online that each has to be differentiated by a number. I bet BigBoy69 is really pleased with himself, though he perhaps shouldn’t be. For many, BigBoy69 may be regarded as a) a liar and b) vulgar. Sexual, offensive or boastful names are a definite no, no. If you do just want a sexual relationship with someone, which surprisingly many BigBoys out there don’t, there are other ways in which to let people know this without being a cliché.
If you want to be successful in the online dating world it is important to have an online photo! You may be more Elephant Man than He-Man but most people disregard profiles without a photograph. Indeed, your photograph is one of the most important things about your profile; it is not only that we do live in a shallow world, but also that your photograph can tell a thousand tales before you even open the dating profile.
Be careful to choose the right photo of yourself. Personally, I actually click off profiles where there is a man without his top on and, even quicker still, if he might also have no underwear or is taking the picture from a jaunty angle in a mirror above his head. Photos, in general, are better if they are not staged, though for many of us finding a nice photograph on Facebook or Tumblr is quite difficult and it may be the only option is to stage it. If this is the case, make it casual and informal and look relaxed. It is also important to consider what you wear as this can give a massive clue to your personality. Be wary about what is shown in shot and what is in the background. You don’t want last night’s washing up on full display to your potential mate. My friend was holding a pool cue in herMatch.com profile picture, but it looked, due to the size of the full length shot and the outfit she was wearing, like a whip. There began her belief that the majority of online dating sites users were also quite partial to dungeons. Don’t use a photograph which is old, this is just stupid and will lead to feelings of disappointment and dishonesty at the first meeting. It is a good idea to have quite a number of different photos on your profile as it is only by seeing someone at different angles that you can get a sense of what someone really looks like. The more photos, the less there is to hide. However, there are always certain angles which should be avoided….
Modesty and honesty are the two golden rules of internet dating profiles. Studies have shown that these are amongst the most endearing qualities, along with kindness, found in humankind and it makes sense to use them in your profile. Being boastful is ugly and being dishonest is just plain stupid as you will always be found out in the end. Negativity has no place in a dating profile, you might be miserable being single, but no one wants to be with a misery. You may have had some bad experiences in dating, but no one wants a man hater and your view that you don’t want a liar and a cheat this time may well be true, but again highlighting negative experiences in your life can ring alarm bells to those you want to attract.
Less is often more. Don’t be so brief as to be obtuse, but don’t feel as though you have to provide the full history and verse of your life. If you write too much detail or use too many words to explain your point, you may look over-indulgent. Even though your profile is all me, me, me, a little me, me, me is better. There are certain things left best unsaid in a dating website! Your profile will focus of your first date – make sure that you would feel comfortable talking about everything on your profile that you post. Never put identifiable details, such as your office or details which may lead people to your home address on your profile, as that would just be asking for a stalker.
Vive la Difference. Given how many dating profiles there are to choose from and given that everyone, with any sense, has used their most flattering photograph, your dating profile should make you stand out from the crowd. It is unbelievable how many people like ‘socialising with friends’ and ‘dining out’ – what type of socializing you like and a lively description of your best experiences of dining out may make your profile a little different from the rest. The same goes for clichés – online dating sites have been around long enough now for people to be immediately put off by people who are ‘Looking for Mr Right and not Mr Wrong’ or their ‘Knight in Shining Armour’ or even a ‘Prince looking for his Princess’. You may be fun and have a very GSOH – but don’t we all? Don’t just speak about your good sense of humor, try your best to actually use it on your profile page.For people who just can’t face writing a profile, there are now more websites cropping up in cyberspace which use alternative ways to match make such as psychometric testing or by allowing people to rate their potential dates according to looks alone. For a lot of people, grinning and bearing it and letting their personality shine through may be the better option than the latter. It may be helpful to ask a close friend to help you with your profile as they are best placed to know your best qualities whilst ensuring that you are not too boastful or arrogant. They may recognise qualities in you that you don’t recognise yourself which could be enough to bag your dream date.
Cara is an online writer and a long-term singleton/ serial dater.