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By : Karen Hendry

Dear Daughter-in-Law,

Welcome to the family.  I couldn’t be happier for you and my son.  I have one concern, though. I try to get close to you, to get to know you better, and sometimes I feel as though I get a very cold reception.  Why is that?  I know, from the experience of friends and family, that mothers-in-law and daughters-in-law don’t always get along that famously, but I was sure we were different, that we were the exception.  It appears not.  Am I meddling too much in your affairs?  Do I come by the house too often?  Well, I have news for you.  Your husband happens to be my son and until you start having my grandchildren you won’t really understand what that means to a mother.

Guess what else?  I have been a newlywed before.  That’s right.  I have been infatuated and in love, that newlywed bliss that, quite frankly, dissipates with time as the mundane chores of life pile up and you start quarrelling over whose turn it was to cook dinner as you both stare hungrily at the empty stove top or argue for the thousandth time about whose turn it is to change the baby’s diaper.  You would do well to take advantage of my experience and wisdom.  After all, why bother to make all these mistakes yourself when you could simply take my advice and avoid them all together.

You know, I was curious as to how many mothers-in-law and daughters-in-law do actually get along, so I looked it up.  It turns out that nearly 58% of women who have good marriages also like their mother-in-law.  Huh.  It also turns out that 78% of women who get along well with their own mother, also get along well with their mother-in-law.  So number one, I hope you and my son really do have a good marriage, because if you don’t, then our relationship might just be doomed.  And I sure do hope you like your own mother and leave the ice queen act at home when you visit with her.

I am not perfect and I will try to take control, offer unsolicited advice, and mother my grandchildren.  But guess what?  You need me to do all that, because if not, you will mess up.  I need to show you how to take care of my son the way he deserves to be taken care of.  No matter what happens in the future, you need to accept the fact that there are two women in his life and that he depends on both of us to be there for him.  You didn’t just marry him – you married his family.  If you can suck it up and deal with that, then we will get along just fine.  Just remember, I am not going anywhere.  Oh, and be sure to keep the house clean because you just never know when I’ll show up on your front doorstep.

With love,
Your New Mother

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Also check out our Mother Day Articles,
A Hard Day to Step Up
Letters to Mother-in-Law
Mamma Mia!

Karen Hendry is a freelance writer/editor who lives in London, Ontario with her two wonderful children and her garden.