“I had a hard day at work today, honey, I’m just not in the mood.” Really? Tell me… how does a hard day at work relate to not wanting to be loved, cherished and held? We all equate sex with love. Would we come home from work and tell our spouse that we had a hard day and therefore we “don’t want to be loved”? That makes no sense whatsoever. It appears that when we’re in a bad mood we choose to take the “love” out of sex and turn sex into a chore

Perhaps it is somewhat stereotypical to assume that it is women who allow their mood to influence sexual activity, so lets look at it from a different angle.

Case Study:

It was the end of a long hard day after being stuck in traffic and a bag of groceries splitting in the parking lot; Carol* was in a foul mood.  Richard*, her partner was already home, he heard the slam of the car door and knew immediately that something was very wrong. We’ve all been here and we all know how the evening is likely to go down, but something very different happened this night.

After slamming the door, Carol leaned against the car and took a few deep breathes. The tension in her body was palpable. She left everything in the car, walked through the door and right up to Richard, wrapping her arms around him, she kissed him like there was no tomorrow.

Imagine Richard’s surprise as he felt Carol’s fingers groping with his belt buckle. This was certainly not what he had anticipated when he heard the door slam. With the groceries still in the car and the potatoes gently bubbling in the pot, Carol and Richard enjoyed hard, passionate “kitchen counter sex.”

The remainder of Carol and Richard’s evening was happy. Why? Sex can be like a “system restore” for the computer in your brain.

This is going to be an odd segue and might make no sense, but I love running, cycling, kayaking, anything that is high intensity active. In spite of loving it, I’m often just not “in the mood” and getting out the door to do it is difficult. However, I always come home pumped and refreshed. The same holds true with sex!  If you just still your brain, relax and get at it, it will restore you to a good mood, because many of the same brain chemical reactions are present in both intense exercise and sex.

Benefits of Sex:

Clinical aspects of sex and why it can improve your mood:

• Sex increases the body’s “happy” hormones such as dopamine and cortisol, and it counteracts depression, improves energy and improves people’s mood.
• Semen contains several mood-altering hormones, including testosterone, oestrogen, follicle-stimulating hormones, luteinising hormones, prolactin and several different prostaglandins and there is evidence that it quickly transfers to a woman’s blood.
• Sexually active seniors are the happiest men and women of any age group. It can raise life-lengthening chemicals, including endorphins, DHEA, and growth hormone.
• Sex improves your sleep and relieves stress. At orgasm, oxytocin levels increase five times. It also increases headache-curing endorphins

Your Moods And Tokii:

It’s easier said than done to just “smile” and “get over it.”  Sometimes no matter how much we may want to, we just can’t make ourselves swallow our pride or our hurt and love completely. To help you get over that hurdle play Tokii DiscoveryGames The Cravings and Arouse Me. Play them whenever your mood is controlling your desire to be loved sexually.

A Final Thought:

One study in the UK showed that people are happier and healthier if they have morning sex, than if they have a cup of tea or toast.

What more can I say!

*Names have been changed for privacy reason

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