Couples today deal with complexities that our parents never had too. Our world is moving faster, our social networks are now largely based in a digital world, and we’re constantly bombarded with a culture of infidelity, lust, and the “quick-fix”.
With the support of Tokii’s own experts, Licensed Professional Counselor Alison Sigmon, and Certified Life Coach Wendy Kay, we’ve compiled the most relevant info to help you get a grasp on the often polarizing “His and Hers” world of intimacy.
Whether you want to see them or not, it seems like every time you open a magazine or go online, numerous studies about men and women’s sexual needs can be found and at times the results can be rather confusing and contentious. For example, while some men might prefer to draw conclusions from magazines like Maxim or Men’s Health, women might reference books recommended by Oprah or Dr. Phil.
And while these are great sites and good sources for a wide range of advice and opinions on love and intimacy, from Tokii’s perspective, we believe that a couple is best served and will make the best headway by having an honest and candid conversation. Tokii provides your own place to play online with your partner. Our DiscoveryGames will get you and your partner talking about the most important areas of your relationship. An added benefit is that you can also see what the entire community is talking about regarding intimacy in today’s hectic world and how men and women are responding. Tokii’s a great place to come and view the statistics on what real couples say about their relationships and the role intimacy plays.
It’s no surprise that women think and feel about sex differently than men. When we posed the question on Tokii, “how often my brain thought about sex?”, 49% of men said they think about it as often as they breath, compared to 14% of women. Overall, it’s probably a no brainer to say that men have a higher need for sex than women. Of course women need sex too, but without the brain’s wiring directing her to think about sex frequently, often her sexual desires are derailed by life. That’s not to say that men don’t have pressing demands that impact their sex drive, it just means that the chemical messages in the male brain are better at overriding other stimuli.
That means we often find ourselves on different sides of the sheets in the bedroom. Yet there is one thing that over 60% of both men and women do agree on: cuddling is their favourite thing to do after sex.
Tokii expert Alison Sigmon explains,: “hormone oxytocin … [is] released in both men and when after sex. It helps you feel closer to your partner and more connected. So If you’re inclined to go immediately to sleep after sex, do both of you a favor and extend those good feelings for a while with a little cuddle time.” The more areas that a couple can find that create pleasure between them, the stronger their connection, and that’s very positive for the relationship.
So gentlemen, here is a little tip. Tokii expert Wendy Kay, alerts us to research which states that the “feel good” hormone oxytocin “will stay in the system for varying times – a male: 1-2 hours; female: up to 2 days.” – Which means he is ready daily, whereas she may not really have a strong need for a few days.
So here is a little Tokii Takeaway: 65% of Tokii women are turned on by touch and of that 48% seem to prefer kissing. So guys, remember that post coitus cuddling will net you more near-term action and gals, if you feel more warmth in the relationship due to this cuddling intimacy you might just be more receptive sooner and that’s going to benefit both of you.
Wishing you all an intimate night… with lots of cuddling!
Karla Stephens-Tolstoy, Tokii CEO & Founder
A business and brand maverick, skilled in building start-ups and building brand management teams in North America, Asia and Europe.