It’s no surprise that women think and feel about sex differently then men. When we posed the question on Tokii, “how often my brain thought about sex?”, *49% of men said they think about it as often as they breath. Overall, it’s probably safe to say that men have a higher need for sex than women. Of course women need sex too, but our need may not be as great as a man’s, and many factors can influence how often we want sex.
When I was a breastfeeding young mother with four children, sex was not high on my list of recreational activities. All day long someone was touching me, it never stopped, and when I laid down in bed at night, there was good chance that very soon an infant would be at my breast. In those days the only trigger for allowing myself to be touched was a temper tantrum… not much of a turn on coming from my partner.
I can only imagine what a surprise that was for my husband after the years of frisky, frolicking we’d engaged in before children. He must have imagined a very bleak future, thinking that those easy of sex would never return. As all our friends were in the same predicament, there was nobody to offer hope.
My female friends and I rediscovered our sexual desires once all the children began sleeping through the night. Most of us reported increased activity in the bedroom during the years before picking kids up from late night school dances, or hockey games, made everyone too tired.
The good news? The house empties and rightly or wrongly, sex is a great way to cope with Empty Nest Syndrome.With good timing and good fortune we can always hope that the window for fun sex isn’t too small before all the uncertainty of middle age and beyond. Perhaps this may be a factor in the results of Sara Gorchoff, Ph.D., University of California, Berkeley study, in which she reported that women in their 40s to their early 60s, who had no children at home reported greater satisfaction with their partners than did those mothers with children at home.
The hormonal shifts of menopause give PMS and pregnancy a real run for their money and a woman’s desire can go either way. The discussions over coffee now indicate that menopause either hits with a bang and she wants to keep…. well, you get the idea, or there could be a few more years of draught ahead.
Gentlemen, now that you’ve heard the good and bad news, don’t despair, Senior Living has some really encouraging news. However, if I could give you one piece of advice, start in the morning, use all the little tricks you’ve acquired along the way to make her feel beautiful, loved and appreciated, and with a little luck and good timing there may be a reward in it by evening.
*Stats taken from Discover Game – Arouse Me” on 13 January 2012
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