Be honest, at some point you chased this wonderful guy, or maybe he chased you! The point is you caught him or let yourself be caught! At some point you made a decision to enter into life with this guy, and when you did you had some good reasons.
Like most people you made sure to weigh the pros & cons of what a relationship would look like, how it could grow, and what you were in for. He wasn’t Mr. Perfect and he may have fallen short in some areas, but overall you felt pretty lucky and special to have found him, and knew for certain the feeling was mutual.
I married my husband twelve years ago today! It’s twelve years of happiness and fulfillment, but the flipside is it’s twelve years of routines, responsibilities, and compromises. It’s twelve years of finding his gross toothbrush on the counter, even though I got a tacky football toothbrush holder just so he’d stop it…Twelve years is more than enough time to let loose those annoying habits we had the good sense to hide from each other when we were courting. Things like two very busy executive work schedules and priorities, a kid who trades expensive hobbies faster than baseball cards, and sinking energy levels that usually mean crumbling down at night under an iPad. All the while I was thinking, I love my partner, but a lot of the time he feels less like a husband and more like a business partner I see naked from time to time.
Let’s stop right there! Here’s the thing, when my husband and I finally stopped to talk about it, I found out that, duhh, he’s going through the same thought process as I was. Funny isn’t it how you have time to stand in line for coffee, chat with the girl friends, watch your favorite TV show, surf the web., upload your pictures to Facebook, but finding time for meaningful conversation with your partner always takes a back seat. We all change, but if we’re not paying attention we can’t see it happen, and we can’t learn from it.
So we started talking, and talking and talking. We talked about why we loved eachother, and we talked about all the couples we’ve seen fall apart. It made us feel lucky as lovers, it made us feel distressed for our friends, and as business people, it made us see an opportunity that ended up as Tokii.com.
It comes down to the choices we have, we can maintain the status quo, we can do something drastic like break up or cheat, or we can do something about re-discovering the qualities, hopes and growth of the person we’ve gone through so much with already! I don’t believe that I or anyone else has to accept anything less than the full potential of your relationship, and I think building or rebuilding that kind of love always starts with simple communication!