Posted on 17 June 2012. Tags: Activities, advice, Communication, couple, Dating, Relationship
When I read this I laughed out loud (LOL) because when I met my husband he said watching sports was boring, he loved long walks, and that he did not like junk food. Hmm… Twelve years later he cannot last longer than a few days without watching sports, and nothing makes him happier than watching [...]
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Posted in Ask Tokii, Ask Tokii
Posted on 15 June 2012. Tags: advice, Career, Conflict, Couples, Jealously
Flirting in the office is to be expected. Work gets boring sometimes, and if you did not have a mini-work crush then it would be even more boring! She might enjoy the attention she gets, but that does not mean she is thinking of leaving you or having an affair. Statistically there is a 40 [...]
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Posted in Ask Tokii, Ask Tokii
Posted on 01 June 2012. Tags: authenticity, Communication, couple, Love, Relationship, therapy
I think you need to decide if this is the time to “burst the bubble” or not? If you want to open up about your “not so great“ marriage, I recommend you meet with a couples therapist who can help you through the transition of separation because marriage counselors are just as important to use [...]
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Posted in Ask Tokii, Ask Tokii
Posted on 29 May 2012. Tags: Argueing, benefits of arguing, couple, Fair Fighting, Fighting, relationships
You recognize that arguing & bickering in front of the children is detrimental to them and to your relationship. Studies confirm that arguing repeatedly in front of children can lead them to binge drinking, early adoption of smoking and other addictions, emotional instability, poor eating habits, and higher school dropout rates. Children see their parents [...]
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Posted in Ask Tokii, Ask Tokii
Posted on 19 April 2012. Tags: Communication, Conflict, couple, Marriage, Relationship, Sex
I don’t want to judge, but there’s a good chance that after 30 years of sex with the same person you might have fallen into a routine, and if you talk about it with her you might find out it feels like a routine to her too. Men have to remember that desire for sex [...]
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Posted in Ask Tokii, Ask Tokii
Posted on 12 April 2012. Tags: AskTokii, Communication, Conflict, Couples, relationships, Spending, Vacations
My first response was “lucky you” your husband wants to surprise you and take care of all the details. However, I do understand that money and who controls it is a very complex issue and one that is not solved simply by giving good gifts. We all have different values in life and ideally as [...]
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Posted on 04 April 2012. Tags: Communication, Conflict, Couples, Family, Life, Living Together, Love, Marriage, Parenting, Relationship, Schedules, Sex
Well, as you consider your feelings about her now, there’s a fairly good chance that your wife may feel this way about you too or has at some point in your relationship. I once met woman who told me that she’d been married and divorced 30 times! I was shocked and then she laughed and [...]
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Posted on 02 April 2012. Tags: Conflict, Couples, Living Together, Love, Marriage, Relationship
I have to laugh at myself when I think about your situation because there are times when I’m acting moody. My husband and 10 year-old son will say, “Wow, you have some PMS going on right now.” When I’m not PMS-ing I laugh in response. If I am really experiencing PMS I glare at them [...]
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Posted in Ask Tokii, Ask Tokii
Posted on 26 March 2012. Tags: Communication, Conflict, Couples, Finance, Life, Marriage
Dear Lynda, Money is the number one cause for fights in a relationship so you are not alone. My parents had a joint bank account and it worked great for them as they have very similar ideas of how to spend their money, BUT they told me they had to have lots of discussions about [...]
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Posted in Ask Tokii, Ask Tokii
Posted on 19 March 2012. Tags: advice, Communication, Conflict, Couples, Living Together, Relationship, Schedules, Sex
Dear Melissa: You’re right, sexual intimacy is one key to a happy marriage. Where we are in life can affect sexual desire and frequency, but we shouldn’t let that become an excuse for letting such an important part of our relationship suffer. “Anything worth having takes some effort and presence. Just like you commit [...]
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Posted in Ask Tokii, Ask Tokii