Whoa. Easy there, Trigger. There’s no supersecret code word a girl provides, nor one you can (smoothly) ask to determine if your new interest also wants to “hunker down and get serious” after one date, but the good news is: You don’t need to know one.
Here’s why:
When you decide where you want to end up before you even begin, the relationship is almost guaranteed to end in Trainwrecksville. See, deciding up front that you’d like to “hunker down” can be intimidating to a girl. Worse, if you’re not careful, the overzealous attitude can cause very nice, well-intended gentlemen to come off a little creepy. (Trust me, if after one date you’ve already decided the level of seriousness you want to lock in, she’ll pick up on it. Any “she,” too – not just the one you’re asking about.) If you bust out of the gates overdoing the I-want-to-be-super-serious-in-a-committed-relationship signals, a girl won’t feel special. She’ll feel like she’s just a box next to “Serious Relationship q” you’re wanting to check off a list of Things to Do.
If you think you have enough information at this point to bravely go to that exclusive place despite not knowing this wonderful girl very well, I urge you to reconsider your criteria! If her agreeing to it is the only thing you require… you really, really, really need to find the nearest person around and have them promptly SHAKE SOME SENSE INTO YOU! Once you’re making sense again, decide with an open mind that you’re going to go on as many dates and have as many phone conversations as it takes. By “it,” I mean sufficient information gathering to answer questions like: Do our personalities and senses of humor click?; Do we share at least some overlapping values and interests?; Do we have sizzling physical chemistry? Are we able to love one another’s idiosyncrasies, or will they make us want to kill each other?… and a bunch of other real-life things that – combined – give you a fighting chance at a strong & healthy relationship. Despite what we usually see in the movies, relationships (rewarding and amazing as they can be) take a lot of genuine effort, so finding the right person to “go-it with” is well over half the battle. You don’t want to roll the dice on this one.
So if your eyes are open to finding the answers to important questions related to compatibility (rather than merely “Will she actually agree to being with me?”), trust that you won’t need anyone to tell you when you’re receiving cues. They’ll be all over the place, and they won’t be subtle. They’ll be conking you in the head! What’s great… with each one, you’ll have more information about how – and if – to proceed in the relationship. Don’t worry about the outcome yet. If she really is the one, you’ll know soon enough. If she isn’t, you’ll also know that in short order and will save yourself a heap of heartache by being a little more realistic about what to expect so early on. So… get out there. (And enjoy every moment of the process of finding love!)
