Unfortunately, there’s probably little I or anyone can tell you to make you feel less awkward in an adult store setting – at least right now. Since you qualified your question by establishing up front that you’re “very Christian,” there’s a fair chance you’re wrestling with some internal conflict when it comes to sexuality versus morality. The good news is: Christian experts at Tokii say the two (sexuality and morality) – according to the bible – don’t actually oppose one another! In fact, Proverbs 5:18-19 encourages man when it comes to having fun with his woman (because after all, God wanted to ensure man would keep on making babies!)… “May your fountain be blessed, and may you rejoice in the wife of your youth … may her breasts satisfy you always, may you ever be captivated by her love.” Our Christian sexperts believe “love” in this sense pretty clearly refers to the sexy side of love. Within the confines of a loving, marital relationship, there’s a pretty large window of both exploration and opportunity. The bad news may be: You have to come to this on your own. Until you do, advice from others will not likely be very convincing.
As for the chit-chatty Kathy at the store: She is there to do a job and – let’s face it –make a sale, so by talking with customers, she’s doing her job. Also consider that the average store patron probably starts out a lot more like you – curious and information gathering – than the rare, sexual deviant. I agree there’s nothing worse than a pushy salesperson. That said, you wouldn’t go to a restaurant and then feel irritated when the waiter or waitress asks if anything looks good to you, right? After all, you came to the restaurant (and the adult store) of your own volition – no one forced you. Be careful not to distract yourself from the real issue, which is your level of comfortability (or lack of) with your own sense of sexuality.
So where to go from here. You have two primary options:
- Overcome the inner hurdle compelling you to separate your Christianity from your sexuality if you want to continue freely on your journey of sexual exploration. If, however, you feel yourself dreading the entire experience, thinking you may be judged as dirty or deviant for window shopping adult-style, you’re not doing yourself any favors by pushing through. This will only add more conflict, guilt, etc. to an already complicated internal struggle. So… your other option is:
- Throw a glass of ice-cold water on your sense of sexual curiosity – for now. A little curiosity isn’t worth a lot of guilt or negative self-judgement. Those feelings are probably a sign that you’re not quite where you need to be with balancing things (a strong comfortability with your sexuality as well as your Christianity).
If you are on your way to feeling more comfortable with the idea of exploring options, but find you just can’t quell your ball of nerves during the real-life shopping trip, then the world wide web is a great alternative. You can order stimulation devices as well as oils and other sex-enhancing items (and no one has to know. They come in discreet packaging).
Before taking any action, focus on becoming comfortable with your sexuality in general. (Take a look at our recent blog article: More Double As, Please.) Chances are, if you are able to embrace the beauty of the human body – including its remarkable ability to experience physical pleasure – as just one of God’s many gifts to us, your journey of exploration may be a lot less harrowing and a lot more fun.