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This is such an important issue to anyone with a partner deployed overseas. I’m so glad you asked.

Luckily, technology allows many options for racy connection.  Although you might have to be a bit discreet, given the potential for prying eyes, you can still find ways to make that ocean between you boil and bubble. Doing so stretches your imagination in ways that will benefit you even after you’re back on the same soil.

Phone sex (or Skype sex) is a great idea, but it often feels awkward the first few times.  Before you give it a try, be sure your wife is up for it, too.  Then start with something easy, something familiar . . . like this:

“Last night I was thinking about when we were dating … remember that time we were going at it in the shower and your roommate walked into the bathroom and pulled back the shower curtain?  I was laughing out loud just thinking of it, but mostly it made me recall how soft your skin is, and how sweet you smell.  If I could touch you right now, I’d want to run my hands so slowly over your body it would seem to take hours.”  

If you want to go to a hotter level, check out my advice about getting comfy with talking dirty (which applies to phone sex, too) right here on Tokii.

Another way to keep things spicy is to send sexy email.  Decide on a “code” subject line for emails filled with private innuendo (to avoid inviting scrutiny), then share the thoughts that accompany your erotic fantasies, leaving some of the details to each other’s imaginations.  For instance, you might write something like this:

I was out in the garage today working on my motorcycle and I envisioned you leaning against it, wearing those cute little blue shorts of yours, your hair loose, spilling down your back. You were stretching across the seat to grab a wrench for me, and the shorts were riding up between your butt cheeks . . . 

Get the idea?  You don’t need to write the entire fantasy—just enough to get her juices flowing so she can picture the rest.  Hopefully, she’ll like this game enough to tell you her own tale, too.

One caution:  If this kind of imaginative sex-play was way off your radar before your wife was deployed, don’t just launch into it without telling her what you’re hoping to achieve and ensuring she’s on board. It’s easy for a sudden change in behavior to provoke worry—even suspicion—for the spouse who’s away in a war zone, where fears are easily magnified.  However, once you have the green light, let your creativity run wild!

For more by Dr. Joy, visit her at http://www.JoyDavidson.com

Try These DiscoveryGames - discover yourself and your partner on a sexual, emotional and intellectual level and have fun while doing it.

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