Dear Anxious,
Disrespect? Au contraire, my sweet. Rather, in feeling closer to you he is more inclined to share desires that he wouldn’t reveal to just anyone. That includes his urge to plunder le derrier.
Many people wait to share deep secrets until they feel that the relationship is going somewhere. Besides, there’s never any disrespect in voicing honest desires. Keeping them hidden—now that’s disrespectful. Sexual revelations—even dicey ones—show respect by implying that you’re deserving of the whole truth and nothing but, and that you can be trusted to handle it. If everybody was a straight-shooter like your fiancé, we’d see fewer bitter divorces of the kind that occur years into a marriage, when long suppressed sexual secrets erupt, leaving the partner who was kept in the dark feeling betrayed and resentful.
If you’re interested in trying back door sex, go for it. If you’re concerned about what to expect you can take it in stages; your guy can start with just one finger or a small anal toy before you are ready to take the big plunge. Lots of women find anal sex exciting, pleasurable, even orgasmic—at least when it’s done right. So if you do experiment, play smart and ignore “porn school.” Instead, watch my online video with your boyfriend: “Anal Sex: Separating Fact from Fantasy.”
While you’re in learning mode, you’ll definitely want to play the Considering The Back Door, Key to the Back Door and Le Derrière DiscoveryGames:
If you liked this post, you should check out the other Ask Tokii’s.
